Finding your Bliss…..

by frannybolsa on January 12, 2012

in Life, Motherhood

I started this blog a little over a year ago.  I’d lost my job and needed to write. I needed to remember how to write something that didn’t involve government acroynms and a million statistics and the latest buzz words. I’ve always loved to write. Both the physical and emotional act. It is something I need to do.

In between worrying how I was going to feed the Girl Wonder and finding another job I realized that the biggest thing I’d lost was me.  Losing a job is sort of like forced therapy. Like it or not you have an opportunity to get all philosophical and look at where you are and where you want to be.  You could also drink excessively, stop washing your hair and wear house coats.  Since I didn’t have a house coat I went the philosophical route.

For a long time, all I’ve done is work. And take care of Girl Wonder. Home. Work. Home. Work.  I’d forgotten there was a big world out there and I’d forgotten that I’d wanted to be a part of it.

Writing brought me home. To myself. It’s not always great writing or focused writing but it’s my writing. The more I do it the more I want it.

And in 42 days I will be attending my first blogging conference – Blissdom 2012 . It’s happening right here in my backyard.

I don’t know another soul going. I’m skeered, nervous and feeling super intimidated. There will be real bloggers there. People who are known about the intranets. People I read. They look hip and savvy and stylish. I don’t feel like any of those things. They all know each other. What if they wont’ talk to me? What if it’s Junior High all over again and I’m that weird girl in the corner that no one wants to talk to and never seems to fit in anywhere. What if they’re all talking bloggy talk and I’m all like “huh?”. I ordered business / calling cards to take with me. I forgot to put a bunch of stuff on them. I’m a dork. What if I don’t have anyone to hand them to? What if someone takes one and then uses it to pick their teeth? What if what if what if…….

I need pants that aren’t saggy. I need my huhr did. I need my nails did. I need cute shoes. I need to pluck my eyebrows and shave. I need to stop drinking coffee and go pee. I need to breathe.

My insides are all twitchy. I’m jumpy. I’ve told anyone who doesn’t run away…. “I’m going to Blissdom!” And then I do cartwheels. I feel like I’m strapped in the backseat of my parent’s car driving to another family vacation… “Are we there yet?”, “How much longer?”.

[And once I've peed and breathed and gotten a grip on myself] Even though I won’t know anyone… I think I already know everyone. The best part for me… I think I’ve finally found a place to belong. A community. A group of people who get why I do this. Who get why I want to do this well. This is a place where I can officially say “I”m a blogger” and not have someone look at me like I do unnatural things with goats. This feels like home. Home is good. It’s a place where there’s coffee and people to hug you.

Unlike my Aunt Susie, I will leave the bread and pink sugar packets on the dinner table and leave any free fancy mints behind at Blissdom. But I do want to walk away with a few things….

  • I want to meet at least 5 new people. That I’ll talk to again and again.
  • I am a writer and I want to learn how to be a better one…
  • I like stories with words and pictures. I want to take better pictures and learn more about those buttons on my camera I haven’t yet pressed
  • I want to have fun fun fun (cue the Cyndi Lauper please)

What’s your bliss? Have you found it? Are you looking for it? What is that thing that you could do or talk about for a million hours fueled only by coffee or Diet Coke. Whatever it is… strap on some sassy shoes and get out there.

xoxo
Franny B.

  • http://dollopsofdiane.com Diane T

    I’m heading to Blissdom for the first time this year as well! I just started blogging in November. Worst case scenario, I’ll find you and we can stare at all the famous, cool girls that we don’t know! :)

    • frannybolsa

      Hurray! We can connect at the Newcomers meet up! I’ve loved perusing your blog – so many reminders of my daughter’s younger days

  • http://sweetphenomena.com/ Tiffany Manley

    So glad I read this! I’m going too, and this is my first Blissdom. I feel slightly better, like a teeny tiny bit, because I went to Bloggy Boot Camp in October, but this is like a whole ‘nother ball of wax…

    I’m feeling some of the same things you are. I need new glasses {lenses are scratched and chipped}, I need my hair done, mani, clothes, shoes, etc. But, I like your goals and how they are purposeful.

    I’d love to make a point to meet!!

    • frannybolsa

      OOOH… I need to put new glasses on my list too! Meeting sounds fabulous! Diane and Beth (who commented around here earlier) are fellow newbies too! Now we’re all Newbies with peeps. p.s. I love your blog header

      • http://sweetphenomena.com/ Tiffany Manley

        Nice! I learned at BBCATL in October that it’s always best to get to know fellow newbies beforehand… Nothing like being at a cocktail party, looking around, seeing everyone in their groups chatting away and you can’t seem to find the emergency exit… :)

        Thanks re: my header. I’m about to change it hehe. :) Not drastically, but I want a lady that’s actually mine, drawn for me, not stock art. But, the “feel” and color scheme should remain roughly the same.

  • http://www.bethszimmerman.com Beth Zimmerman (@BethZimmerman)

    Honey … If we can manage to find each other we are going to be FABULOUS friends! I so relate to every single word you wrote and I laughed in all the right places! And ALL my shoes are Crocs. With a size 12WW foot pretty shoes are not usually a viable option! Anyway … I would LOVE to talk more so I’m going to subscribe to your blog and shut up before I say something stupid! (I just took a pain pill and a sleeping pill …. yes my doctor knows … and am feeling a bit fuzzy. From what I’ve heard I’m at most entertaining at such moments but … since you just met me and all …

    • frannybolsa

      You can’t say anything stupid ’round here. Meeting in fuzzy moments sometimes makes for the most entertaining introductions :) I look forward to seeing your snazzy crocs and smiling face at Blissdom! Now you know at least one other person :) p.s Thank you for subscribing. p.s.s. I loved your post on Blissdom. I’m so glad your hubby gave you the gift of Bliss. p.s.s.s. You’re on pain pills. It’s almost 11 p.m. here and I’m on my 4th cup of coffee. We’re a party just waiting to happen.

      • http://www.bethszimmerman.com Beth Zimmerman

        Actually I mentioned to a fellow blogger, on Facebook, that I wanted to go but it would take a financial miracle. Se wrote back and asked me to define miracle. I did … and … she offered to pay for my ticket and lodging so I could go. Just had to get hubby to agree to time off and travel expenses. Truly a miracle!

      • http://sweetphenomena.com/ Tiffany Manley

        Those are the most fun kind of parties… ;)

    • http://sweetphenomena.com/ Tiffany Manley

      OK, I know I’m not “technically” part of this conversation, but I had to jump in; this is great! :) Beth, you sound like a really fun chick. :) I hope I get to meet you.

  • Camille Halverson

    Hello to you Franny and all you gals!
    This is probably going to sound strange….and maybe not.
    I’ve been in my kitchen making a pot of tofu chili and thinking for the bazillienth time about what I would (or could) be doing that will bring me some satisfaction with my life.
    It goes something like this…..Dear God, please bring to my knowledge that which I am suppose to be doing with my life that will make a difference in the world and will Make me lots of money that will help me to make a difference in the world that will make me happy and allow me to go places and experience lots of things that will make a difference in the world and also make me lots of money which will allow me to help make a difference………You get the picture.
    I had a thought that since you can find ANYTHING on the Internet, it’s certainly possible that there could be……probably is…..some kind of test I could take, you know, like an aptitude test you take in high school that tells you what you would be best at doing. Only what I need is a magic test that will tell me, just by answering a bunch of questions, what it is that I can do to find my BLISS!
    So, I googled “Bliss” and found your blogsite.
    Is it a “Sign”? Am I “Wacko”? All I know is that when I read what Franny wrote, I felt like I might be on to something.
    I write almost every day. Sometimes I write to a good friend who is highly intelligent (much more so than I), just so I can see how well I can write but mostly so that I can have the pleasure of reading what he responds to me! Other times, I just feel “the need” to hear myself write. My pen takes on a mind of it’s own sometimes and I just write until I’m all written out. Then I go back and read what I had to say to myself…..or to the world….which will never be read by the world because I don’t know how to “get it out to” the world, or if I’m telling anything that would be of interest to anyone else in the world!
    Sometimes though, I will find myself on the web, reading other people’s blogs and find it very interesting to read what other people put out there. Not the kind of “blog” you find on FB that says things like “today I went to see movie and it was great!”. But rather, things people write about life and how they FEEL about it and things that they have learned along the way that sometimes really resonate with me.
    So……here I am, I guess seeking recognition of some kind that what I say or write might have some significance and if so……..What exactly is a “BLOG” anyway?

  • http://www.kariscovers.com Kari Di

    WOW~ looks like your gonna be busy with all these new bloggin buds…

    • frannybolsa

      I feel like I’m headed to the first day of school all over again :)

  • http://www.hellokiley.com Kiley

    I’m going to the BlissDom for the first time, too! I’m SO excited yet SO nervous. I’ll be your friend and take one of your cards. ;)

    I’m so glad I found your blog! Love it.

  • http://www.prudentwisdom.com Dana

    OMW I think you just took the words right out of my mouth!!! I pray I will be 1 of the 5 people that you will talk to again and again ;-) All this time and we are practically neighbors =-0

    • frannybolsa

      Well, howdy neighbor! It’s a relief to know that I”m not the only one having crazy thoughts as we get closer to Blissdom? See you there… very soon!

  • http://www.liveandlovework.com Chrysta Bairre

    I also started my blog during a period of unemployment. Though the idea of starting a blog had been on my mind, I didn’t get serious about it until I was unemployed. As scary as it is to go from employed to unemployed, it can also be a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with my values and intentions!

    Writing my blog has changed my life in amazing and wonderful ways I never expected! I’m grateful every day that anyone keeps reading so I can be encouraged to keep writing.

    I’m so excited and so nervous to attend my first BlissDom this year. I don’t know anyone, either, except for the amazing bloggers I’m meeting online as we prep for BlissDom. The BlissDom community is so welcoming and amazing I find many of my fears are quieted in my brain.

    I truly hope to meet you at BlissDom, and thank you for writing such a beautiful post!

    Chrysta

    • frannybolsa

      You have a beautiful and inspiring written voice. I came to blogging through unemployment too and what a ride its been! I agree with all your Blissdom feelings. I’m still feeling a bit nervous being such a small blogger but the online love has been so freely given and encouraging. Can’t wait to meet you in person. Only 2 more weeks!

  • http://www.girlwithanewlife.com (FL) Girl with a New Life

    Writing has always been my bliss. *High five*

    And this will be my first Blissdom too.

    • frannybolsa

      High five back atcha! Hope to meet you at Blissdom!

  • Pingback: How BlissDom Changed Me – by @frannybolsa | Blissdom Conference 2012

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