I started this blog a little over a year ago. I’d lost my job and needed to write. I needed to remember how to write something that didn’t involve government acroynms and a million statistics and the latest buzz words. I’ve always loved to write. Both the physical and emotional act. It is something I need to do.
In between worrying how I was going to feed the Girl Wonder and finding another job I realized that the biggest thing I’d lost was me. Losing a job is sort of like forced therapy. Like it or not you have an opportunity to get all philosophical and look at where you are and where you want to be. You could also drink excessively, stop washing your hair and wear house coats. Since I didn’t have a house coat I went the philosophical route.
For a long time, all I’ve done is work. And take care of Girl Wonder. Home. Work. Home. Work. I’d forgotten there was a big world out there and I’d forgotten that I’d wanted to be a part of it.
Writing brought me home. To myself. It’s not always great writing or focused writing but it’s my writing. The more I do it the more I want it.
And in 42 days I will be attending my first blogging conference – Blissdom 2012 . It’s happening right here in my backyard.
I don’t know another soul going. I’m skeered, nervous and feeling super intimidated. There will be real bloggers there. People who are known about the intranets. People I read. They look hip and savvy and stylish. I don’t feel like any of those things. They all know each other. What if they wont’ talk to me? What if it’s Junior High all over again and I’m that weird girl in the corner that no one wants to talk to and never seems to fit in anywhere. What if they’re all talking bloggy talk and I’m all like “huh?”. I ordered business / calling cards to take with me. I forgot to put a bunch of stuff on them. I’m a dork. What if I don’t have anyone to hand them to? What if someone takes one and then uses it to pick their teeth? What if what if what if…….
I need pants that aren’t saggy. I need my huhr did. I need my nails did. I need cute shoes. I need to pluck my eyebrows and shave. I need to stop drinking coffee and go pee. I need to breathe.
My insides are all twitchy. I’m jumpy. I’ve told anyone who doesn’t run away…. “I’m going to Blissdom!” And then I do cartwheels. I feel like I’m strapped in the backseat of my parent’s car driving to another family vacation… “Are we there yet?”, “How much longer?”.
[And once I've peed and breathed and gotten a grip on myself] Even though I won’t know anyone… I think I already know everyone. The best part for me… I think I’ve finally found a place to belong. A community. A group of people who get why I do this. Who get why I want to do this well. This is a place where I can officially say “I”m a blogger” and not have someone look at me like I do unnatural things with goats. This feels like home. Home is good. It’s a place where there’s coffee and people to hug you.
Unlike my Aunt Susie, I will leave the bread and pink sugar packets on the dinner table and leave any free fancy mints behind at Blissdom. But I do want to walk away with a few things….
- I want to meet at least 5 new people. That I’ll talk to again and again.
- I am a writer and I want to learn how to be a better one…
- I like stories with words and pictures. I want to take better pictures and learn more about those buttons on my camera I haven’t yet pressed
- I want to have fun fun fun (cue the Cyndi Lauper please)
What’s your bliss? Have you found it? Are you looking for it? What is that thing that you could do or talk about for a million hours fueled only by coffee or Diet Coke. Whatever it is… strap on some sassy shoes and get out there.
xoxo
Franny B.
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